You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
