Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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