Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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