your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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