Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm just crazy horny about you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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