RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i think i have two assholes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
