I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
