i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
