No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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