I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize