Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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