i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Two words: nipple clamps
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