We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
don't judge my taste in strippers
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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