woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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