The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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