The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
