soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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