i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
