girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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