Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
