and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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