Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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