I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
