actually, I'm a sock model
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
