Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
