Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
