If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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