Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize