God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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