my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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