U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
