I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize