i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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