it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
