gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
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