$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
