Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize