I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
