remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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