8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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