I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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