Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My vagina just clenched in fear
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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