The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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