doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
