just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
