No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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