You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
