the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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