dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
