so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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