Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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