i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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