ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize