The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
did i walk over a car last night?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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