I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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