i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
