I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
