I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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