a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Randomize
