How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I need water and some morals
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
