id be glad to
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize