So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
