Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Rumble strips road head = magical
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
