New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
