You can't motorboat a personality
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize